


Lures and Lectures

by Freedoms_Champion



Series: Generally Unrelated Marauders [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Godric Gryffindor loved the giant squid, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Padfoot and Prongs do schemes, Remus Lupin is So Done, The Black Lake, essentially crack, it was his pet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24444826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freedoms_Champion/pseuds/Freedoms_Champion
Summary: James and Sirius come to Remus with a cunning plan, right in the middle of his History of Magic essay. He reluctantly agrees to help them, provided it has nothing to do with Snape.As with all things at Hogwarts, it all comes back to Snape.
Series: Generally Unrelated Marauders [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765465
Kudos: 6





	Lures and Lectures

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> I love all of these characters, but most of what I write is crack. So, James and Sirius act like toddlers and poor Moony has to keep up with them. Also, I don't usually include Peter Pettigrew, for a number of reasons, so he won't show up here.

“Moony.”

Remus Lupin pinched the bridge of his nose and bent a little closer to his History of Magic essay, ignoring the attempt to get his attention.

“Moooony!”

Remus hunched his shoulders against a tug on his robes and noticed he would need a fresh inkwell soon.

“Moo-hoo-hoo-ny!” a pair of voices wailed from either side of him.

Remus threw down his quill, unable to care about the tiny splatters of ink it left on the parchment.

“What do you want?” he snapped at his friends.

James Potter and Sirius Black both grinned triumphantly.

“Well, Moony, we’ve had a marvelous idea,” Sirius drawled.

“If you could spare us half a mo., you could know what it is,” James continued, ruffling his messy hair.

Remus narrowed his eyes at both of them. Thanks to their last “marvelous idea” he was stuck working on his essay three days before it was due rather than already being finished with it. Not to mention, he knew where those ideas usually took them, and it wasn’t somewhere he wanted to go.

“This doesn’t have anything to do with Severus Snape, does it?” he asked severely.

James and Sirius both looked innocently hurt.

“Why would we bother wasting time on someone like that?” James said with a disinterested shrug.

“Our ideas are directed at much grander goals than you give us credit for,” Sirius added loftily, flipping long black hair out of his face.

Remus rubbed his temples, hoping to stave off the headache he felt coming on. He wasn’t sure he believed James and Sirius; on the off chance they were telling the truth, good for them. There were still plenty of ways they could drag him into trouble that might make him late with his assignment.

Then again, they wouldn’t take themselves off on their mischief unless he went with them, which would make it even harder to work.

“How did you two talk me into this?” Remus grumbled as he waded out of the Black Lake. He’d known it would be nothing but trouble, but James and Sirius had surpassed even his expectations.

The two of them exchanged grins while Remus glowered at both of them. Neither of them looked the least bit sorry. Well, he had some ideas about how to change that.

Remus pulled out his wand, gave it a complicated little wave, and directed a stream of hot air at his robes to dry them off. He did not offer to share it, although the effect was lost on James and Sirius, who were slapping each other with their sopping sleeves.

“James, Sirius, do you have any idea how badly today has gone? It’s bad enough that you decided to raid Professor Slughorn’s private Potions stores,” Remus began, fully intending make them understand for once.

James and Sirius shared a high five.

“Then, using your stolen gillyweed, you spent two hours terrorizing the giant squid, trying to see if it really wore a collar,” Remus continued, pacing back and forth as he listed off the wrongs. James and Sirius tuned him out at them slumped to the ground under their favorite tree.

“Can’t believe it really did,” James said gloomily.

“Yeah, a collar with a tag that reads ‘Squiddums’,” Sirius agreed.

“Learn to behave or I will put a collar on you, Sirius Black,” Remus growled. From the look that Sirius gave him from under the dripping curtain of his hair, it was a train of thought that he would not object to following.

Remus hastily picked up his own train of thought.

“As if that wasn’t bad enough, you found the windows to the Slytherin common room and amused yourselves by making faces and rude gestures at Severus Snape until he tried to hex you through the glass! Even after you promised me that your plan didn’t have anything to do with him.”

“We honestly didn’t plan for it, Moony,” James said, ruffling his slightly damps hair as it threatened to become somewhat tidy.

“It was a happy accident, and happy accidents are what make life great,” Sirius said off-handedly, using his wand to prod at the algae crusted hem of his robes.

Remus stopped pacing and glared at them.

“You don’t care in the slightest how much trouble you’ll be in if Professor Slughorn finds out you stole from him?” he asked.

“No,” they replied in unison.

Remus nodded. That was what he’d been waiting for and there would be no way for them to say later he hadn’t given them a chance.

“Fine, then,” he said, lifting his nose in the air. “Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.”

Then he stiffly marched back into the castle, completely ignoring their calls after him. He’d be able to finish his essay in peace now, no matter how much they bothered him.

In fact, he didn’t speak to either of them for two weeks, at which point it became obvious one or both of them would get seriously hurt trying to get his attention.


End file.
